A weekly newsletter with science-based insights on creativity, mindful productivity, better thinking and lifelong learning.
Ness Labs: Big Fears, Tiny Experiments 🥁
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February 13th, 2025 Hello friends,
This morning, I woke up to a familiar feeling I hadn’t felt so acutely in a while. “Oh, hello old friend,” I thought as I recognized the familiar pangs in my stomach – the ones that show up when I experience fear. Sometimes, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where fear is coming from, but in this case, I know exactly what’s going on: just three weeks to go until the launch of Tiny Experiments, my biggest creative project ever. The anticipation comes with all the usual fears – fear of failure, fear of being judged, fear of everything all at once – which explains the stomach pain. This week, I want to talk about how you can transform your fear and work with them to turn them into something more generative; how to move past anxious paralysis and get back to a place of joyful experimentation. Also, a friend pointed out yesterday that I hadn’t made it clear enough how important it is to pre-order your copy now rather than waiting until the book comes out. So, just in case: if you’re planning to read the book at some point, please pre-order your copy today to receive your exclusive bonuses! Pre-orders help tremendously in signaling to bookstores that they should stock up and display it prominently rather than hiding it in the back :) Now that I can tell my friend I did remind you all to pre-order, I hope you enjoy this week’s read. Hugs from Austin, Anne-Laure. 🥁 Turning Big Fears into Tiny ExperimentsWhen I was younger, I wanted to live in Japan. Japan is a country with very strict immigration laws, but my university had an exchange program where you could go spend a semester abroad. There was only one problem: the Japanese university they had a partnership with was one of the most selective in the country. I remember thinking: “There’s no way I’ll get accepted.” I told my mom about my doubts. “It’s not your decision to make,” she said. As often, she was right. We constantly limit our options by deciding for others. All I had to do was to apply, and it then became the university’s job to accept my application or not. You’ve probably seen this pattern in yourself and others. It’s far easier not to fail when you haven’t tried. It’s far easier to not be wrong when you’re not putting yourself out there. But when we avoid trying because of fear, we also avoid growth. Why we are afraid to failFear of failure starts in early childhood. We are social animals and feel the need to be accepted by others, which begins with the acceptance and love of our parents. In a study looking at the relationship between young athletes and their parents, researchers found a correlation between the parents’ high expectations for achievement and the children’s fear of failure. The more the parents showed a negative reaction to what they perceived as a failure from their kid, the more the kid would fear the consequences of “failing.” In some people, this can turn into atychiphobia, an irrational and paralyzing fear of failure often accompanied by an intense feeling of panic or anxiety, and physical symptoms such as difficulty breathing, an unusually fast heart rate, and sweating. For most people, though, fear of failure manifests itself in a much more subtle way – mainly self-doubt that prevents us from exploring uncertain paths: • We put off doing things because we’re unsure how they will turn out. But the good news is (1) fear often signals that something truly matters to you; (2) nobody is hoping for you to fail. So how can you shift your perception and turn your fears into experiments? Creating increments of curiosityWhen you start reading a novel, you rarely expect to finish it in one go. Instead, you will probably read a few chapters, then a few more, until you’re done with the book. Yet when it comes to personal growth, we often abandon this incremental approach. We design big, hairy, audacious goals then freeze because they feel unreachable. But just like in science, we can reshape our perception of what’s possible by breaking our journey down into smaller experiments. “Smaller” doesn’t mean something where you’re certain of succeeding, but rather something small enough that there’s no excuse not to try. Let’s say you have a fear of public speaking and tell yourself that, in any case, nobody has ever invited you to speak at a conference. Instead of seeing this as an immovable obstacle, turn this big fear into a tiny experiment (pre-order the book!). A low-stakes pact could be applying to five local meetups to give a talk over the next five days. While speaking in public may sound terrifying, filling out an online form is manageable. Similarly, if you fear being judged for the quality of your writing, writing a book is a daunting task that is easy to hide behind (“I’d love to write a book, but I don’t have the time”). But writing a series of blog posts? That’s just a tiny experiment. How to fail like a scientistIf you see life as a series of experiments – where the only purpose is to explore, learn, and grow – failure stops being something to fear and instead becomes a necessary part of discovery. In the words of Seth Godin: “The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing.” Approaching failure like a scientist is powerful because it reframes the outcome: no matter what happens, you gain new information. The real failure isn’t making mistakes – it’s refusing to run the experiment in the first place. Start with something small, then move on to another iteration – a bigger growth loop. With time, your mind will become increasingly comfortable with trying new things and constantly expanding your horizons. Practically, here is how you can start applying this approach of deliberate experimentation right now: 1. Pick something you’ve been putting off because of fear. Is it public speaking? Starting a blog? Producing a podcast? Launching your first product? Write it down. 2. Define one tiny experiment you can design to explore this fear. It should be actionable – something simple enough that you can just do it in a few days at most. 3. Do it! Don’t plan anything. Don’t research the best way to go about it. Don’t announce it on Twitter. Just do it. 4. Reflect on what happened. Any negative reactions? What about your emotions? What did you learn? Write all of these thoughts down. It’s a great way to practice metacognition (Plus Minus Next works great for this). 5. Rinse and repeat. Keep designing tiny experiments that fall out of your comfort zone but are not scary to the point of being paralyzing. Again, avoid overthinking it beforehand. Just do it, and reflect only after you have performed the experiment. You may feel some anxiety or discomfort along the way, but addressing your fears is the best way to avoid another feeling that’s much harder to manage: regret. 👀 Brain Picks• Nervous System Quotient (NSQ) is a zero-cost self-assessment created by neuroscientists, therapists, and researchers to help you discover how regulated your nervous system is. After completing you will receive your own score as well as five days of personalized protocols. 🤝 Brain TrustIf you enjoy the newsletter, you'll love our community of curious minds growing together through interactive workshops and safe discussion spaces.
• Today: Rapid Coaching with Joe Hudson. This exclusive group coaching session starts in 90 minutes. Join the workshop to experience Joe's Art of Accomplishment method, compressing years of different modalities and therapy into a short practice. All of these and future events are included in the price of the annual membership ($49), as well as access to our courses, recordings of all our previous sessions, and a growing collection of case studies. Until next week, take care! P.S. There are still a few tickets left for the book tour in Austin, NYC, and London – let me know if you’re joining :) |
Ness Labs by Anne-Laure Le Cunff
A weekly newsletter with science-based insights on creativity, mindful productivity, better thinking and lifelong learning.
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